Standing Up For Friends

So, yesterday I happened to read a post that really upset me.  The craft blogging community is really small.  And the awesome thing about it is that the people in it are amazingly supportive.  So when I saw some of my friends and readers getting bashed, it didn’t sit well with me.  I decided to sleep on it, and somehow I woke up even more upset.

It’s really uncharacteristic of me to write this type of post, and forgive me for speaking in the heat of the moment, but I know of a few ladies who could use some love today.  Please, please – visit these blogs today and leave a sweet comment, because they’ve been made fun of for sharing posts and sentiments that they were proud of.  Heck, I’m proud of them – these are wonderful posts that they worked hard on!
The real kicker to me was that upon reading the initial mockery… a lot of people laughed along.  These are not strangers on the internet.  These are my friends.  I have most of these ladies’ email addresses in my address book and they are wonderful, talented people.  Even if you don’t know them, you probably have something in common that A LOT of people (not just “sane men”) don’t understand – that urge to create and share.
I’m disappointed.  These ladies need to know I need to know that there are still caring and supportive people in our little community.  I hope you join me in letting these ladies know that just because one person doesn’t “get it” – they still have friends.  

Cabbage Patch Beanie at Cox’s Corner

Diaper Cake at Wait Til Your Father Gets Home

Quilted Euphoria’s “Milo”

Sassy Style Redesign’s Back To School Pencil Wreath

Quinton Wench’s Crochet Wreath

Ladies – grab a feature button if you like.  I even made a special button just for today’s post.  Take your pick which one you’d like, the regular feature button or today’s limited-edition one.  In fact, anyone who agrees, feel free to grab the button.  Because I believe in standing up for my friends.

Comments

  1. Danni Baird says

    I too read the post you are talking about. I didn't get that upset. I actually thought there was nothing wrong with the crafts that were dissed. But I also didn't take one man's point of view very seriously. My husband doesn't “get it” either. The difference is he wouldn't post it on the internet. He has more couth than that. However, that being said, I felt that the post was not to be taken seriously and I didn't take it that way. I can think of about 10 of my projects right off of the top of my head that could have been featured right up there on that blog, except, that's not a party I frequent. I have in the past, and may in the future, and if one of my projects appears on her husbands blog, I wouldn't take it very seriously. I have certainly been on the receiving end of some very ugly blog remarks and again, I just don't take them very seriously. I love to blog, I love to craft and I do it for me. If I get comments, good or bad, I'm surprised. If I get a feature, I'm pleased. If someone doesn't like my project…..I don't care. Maybe I did or didn't like it, but I'm not offended if everyone doesn't love my craft and I'm not hurt if someone seriously disses it. I'm guessing that his wife will chime in on this and maybe she should and maybe she shouldn't. It's a free blog world. On the other hand, as I said in the beginnning, I thought there was nothing wrong with the crafts that were dissed…they looked fine to me and I applaud you for standing up for those crafters. Adrianne, you have always been so supportive of everyone in the craft world and I am one of many who appreciate it. You're a better woman than I and the blog world is better for you being in it.

  2. Dot says

    It is important to support one another!! I'm going to try to add the button. (I'm not the most clever one when it comes to computer things, but I'm going to try.)

  3. karen says

    Thank you for the support! I have taken my blog down as I have had comments on it through the offending site.

    I blogged as a hobby and a diary of my hobby, not to have to remove comments.

    x

  4. Back for Seconds says

    What in the world? People are so mean! I did not see the blog you are talking about but just hearing about it from you is so dissappointing :(

  5. Danni Baird says

    I showed this post and the original one you are talking about to my husband and asked him what he thought. He thinks you are awesome! Both of you have made me re-think this a little. What my husband said was, even though I don't take myself too seriously as a crafter, it doesn't matter, the guy is running the risk of hurting peoples feelings and that is just wrong. And of course….it is. I'm sorry that I didn't see it from that viewpoint in the first place. He is still entitled to his opinion, but maybe he could be a little kinder about it. Good for you and good for my husband for making me look at this in a different light. It's one of the many reasons I love him and respect you!

  6. Vivian says

    I read it. I could not believe my eyes. NOT linking up to Sugar Bee Crafts anymore. So disappointing. I support our friends.

  7. Jill says

    I think it shows incredible integrity and character on your part to post this. I too thought the original post was funny and in good humor. And did not take offense. However, I can see it from both points of view just like Danni. I almost feel that it is worse that Mandy gave him permission to create such a post in the first place. And now that Karen has taken down her blog because of this makes me sick. So I am now on THIS side of the fence. Thanks for standing up for everyone! You are a great person and I am happy to call you a friend (even if we have never met). =)

  8. being mom{me} says

    I think it is fantastic for you to write this post! Especially as a new blogger, I would be heart broken to have had this happen to me. I would be enbarassed for myself and my husband if he ever did such a thing “pointing out” someone's project he didn't like.
    I'm a firm believer in the statement “if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all”.

  9. Amy says

    Karen,
    Don't let the thoughts of one “man”, ruin something that you enjoy so much. No one deserves to be treated like that! We all should stand together and boycott their blogs. I hope you reconsider!
    ~Amy~

  10. Kara says

    Bravo, Adrianne, for this post! I agree with everything you said. One of the things I love about blogging is the supportive and encouraging community. His post was in very poor taste. I kind of think of it as inviting all my friends to my house for a party and sitting back while my husband rips my guests apart. That is cruel. And to Karen who commented above, I am not sure which project was yours, but I thought all the projects were wonderful, and I would hate to think that one person's poor judgement would ruin your enjoyment of blogging and sharing. I believe that most of us are very kind and supportive, so if you love blogging, do it for you and for those of us who appreciate your work. Grabbed your button Adrianne :)

  11. Kara says

    I am not sure which project was yours, but I thought all the projects were wonderful, and I would hate to think that one person's poor judgement would ruin your enjoyment of blogging and sharing. I believe that most of us are very kind and supportive, so if you love blogging, do it for you and for those of us who appreciate your work.

  12. salla says

    I did read the original post as I follow that blog and this one and a lot of other craft blogs. Something to realize about the original post is that at NO POINT did he comment on the bloggers or crafting in general. He made some not flattering remarks about SPECIFIC projects that he didn't get or found weird. He made these comments in what he hoped was an amusing way, and he linked to the projects. He also clearly indicated it WAS NOT A PERSONAL ATTACK.

    When you put things out there, be it crafts or anything else, you are going to get commentary both good and bad. This is not “oh he was mean to my friends!” this is “he didn't like the stuff they made, but hey at least he drove some traffic their way!”. All links are good links.

  13. karen says

    Thank you.

    I can deal with his post… he has the right to his opinion (although I find it weird that his wife allowed it). I am sure there are far worse things out there online! I just don't like getting anonymous comments on my post which obviously came from his readers. I can't man my blog every second of everyday. I worked so hard to get my blog off the ground and “out there”. I don't have the want to do it anymore, well not at the moment.

    Karen (quintonwench)

  14. karen says

    Fair enough, but getting hurtful comments on my blog after his post – obviously spurred on from his post – isn't pleasant, trust me

  15. says

    Everyone is entitled to their own opinions… you are, Trevor is, I am. If anyone was hurt by being “featured”, then the disclaimer that it was not a personal attack didn't really work. Lots of funny people say things that are meant to be taken lightly that strike a nerve with people instead… Wayne Brady just taught us that, too, didn't he? Trevor is usually funny. This one just struck a nerve with me, is all.

  16. Sue Alexander says

    I was always taught that if you don't have anything nice to say keep it to yourself. I have been lucky that I have not yet had any mean comments on my blog, but I have found them on the internet and they hurt. If you don't like it, talk to me or what ever, but to just make fun of me, not cool.

  17. JLVerde says

    It's nice of you to post this for those folks who did get their feelings hurt.

    Personally, I find that “hubby blog” for what it really is. A way for the the husband to drum up more interest for his wife's craft blog. It's not terribly mean (I see the critiques as more “I don't get this” than “this stinks, mock it”) and it's not terribly funny or interesting either.

  18. Melissa says

    I hadn't seen or heard of this post until I read your blog this morning. I have tracked down the original post and I find it rather offensive. We don't put ourselves out there to be mocked, we put ourselves out there because we are sharing something we love in the hopes that just one other person will love it as much as we do. This is very upsetting indeed.

  19. Ninja Grandma says

    Karen, I'm so sad and sorry to hear this. I was one of his “features” too…I'm terrified to check my inbox…

  20. Jess from Coxs Corner says

    Thank you so very much for posting about this. I was one of his “features” and I tried to be a good sport about it, at least on the outside…but it really hurt! I so grateful that you wrote this post and gave others a chance to see how truly hurtful it is! I'm putting your button on my blog! I even made a button about it too…http://www.travisandjessicacox.com/2012/08/a-little-bit-about-methe-thumper.html great minds must think alike. But truly, thank you.

  21. Meredith says

    After reading all of these comments, I can see there is still some mixed feelings on the original post. Initially, I think I was just a little embarrassed. But as I mentioned when we spoke last night, it's one thing to put up a picture of a craft or project, but to include a picture of a person's child or even a family pet to poke fun at a larger group of people is just distasteful. I know that by posting pictures of our children, pets, and loved ones, we are essentially “putting them out there” for the world to see. But others, especially those in our little craft blogging community, should have the respect to not mock those posts.

    I feel just awful that Karen has gotten rude/offensive comments and emails from this post resulting in her taking down her blog. That is in no way funny.

    Thank you for this post Adrianne! Thank you for your continued support for not only my blog, but other little (and not so little) craft blogs out there. You are an inspiration to me (and I'm sure many other ladies) in our little community. I'm proud to add your new button to my blog today! :)

  22. Amber says

    Adrianne, I am moved to tears after reading your post. His post initially made me wonder if I should laugh or cry. I then cried because I put myself “out there” and was mocked for it. It hurts because I was expecting support by linking up at his wife's party and instead got slammed. (along with my fellow blogging buddies who I thought their crafts were awesome!)

    Thank you for standing up for us “little people.” I'm taking a button.

  23. Terry says

    Kara – that is the perfect comparison about you having a party, your husband sitting there and making fun of the people you invited over, and you just watch him doing that, not really minding. Perfect. I am also reminded of a Mad Men episode where the character Jimmy Barrett (who is a comedian) happens upon this obese lady and in the middle of a group of people starts to ridicule her and make jokes about her weight. Then he says, “What, this is just who I am, making jokes, it's not meant to be personal.” Well of course if someone is making derogatory jokes about you, it's personal. I think this is the same thing – just because the blogger said he wasn't trying to be hurtful, doesn't mean he wasn't hurtful.

  24. Jess from Coxs Corner says

    Karen, I posted the above comment, I was in my mom's blog doing some editing and forgot to sign out!

  25. Ricki says

    I think the post in itself was meant to be humorous, and had he just found random crafts on pinterest ( to which the makers would have never known) it might have been harmless, but to knowingly tell the makers to think of it as a badge of honor really stings. They linked up to his wife's link up to share their craft, not be made fun of. I've been shying away from link ups and blog hops lately, and getting back to the basics on my blog, and this just confirms my desire to do so! I'm taking a button too!

  26. Barbara Hiatt says

    Adrianne, I agree with Jill's comment above..initially I didn't think much of it, because he said it all from a male point of view, and most of them don't get our craftiness! But after reading all of these comments and learning that poor Karen took her blog down as a result is heart wrenching. I am shocked his wife allowed him to post this, and just sad for all the ladies who were 'featured'. Thanks for standing up to him!

  27. Lorie K says

    Karen, I can honestly say that I would have been proud of any one of those projects. So this man doesn't “get it”? I don't get a lot of things men do!

  28. Kristin says

    It makes me so sad to hear that Karen felt she had to take her blog down. I can't believe some in the blogging community would in a sense “gang up” on someone. So sorry, Karen.

    I think it's great that you voiced your opinion on this, Adrianne. I had heard about Mandy's husband's blog but had not looked at it yet until I heard about this and I'm not impressed.

  29. Truebluemeandyou says

    Adrianne – I commented on that post too. But I am tired of hearing that hurtful things said from a man's point of view are funny and men just don't get it – get what? That it's not right to single out people and ridicule them and their crafts (because I often find the two of them go together) in a very public forum? And for those who said his post wasn't mean, well I think this comment is mean about a wreath he ridiculed, “Speaking of wreaths…I really hope this ends up on our front door. Nothing tells would-be thieves “we have no cool things in this house” like a wreath.” If I posted anything like this on Tumblr (which I liken to the Wild Wild West where I cannot take comments on a post down) I would never be forgiven and probably unfollowed on mass because as all my blogging friends say, it's a small small world. I have quite a few followers and am always thinking twice what I'm putting out there in this huge world. I follow his blog and often think it's funny, but not this post.

  30. Kadie says

    Very well said Adrianne!! I too felt it was in poor taste and hurtful!! After hearing of poor Karen taking her blog down I feel just sick about it. I love our supportive blogging community not only did he take a shot at the crafts people made but he {and Mindy by allowing it} have taken a shot at the supportiveness of our community. I am taking a button and will proudly display it.:)

  31. Irish Italian Blessings says

    I was going to comment and say thanks for the email reminder to link up to the party but felt it was more important to comment here. You're absolutely right and this is a community about support. That post is terrible and he should be ashamed. I'm proud of being a part of this community and will definitely pay them a visit and send some love. Thanks for sharing this and standing up for friends!

  32. Robin says

    I totally agree, Adrianne. Saying that a negative remark “isn't personal” is just a way of justifying your criticism. Of course the people commented on will feel that it is personal! Thanks for standing up for them. :0)

  33. Sorry kid, your mom doesn't play well with others says

    Good for you… If I posted some of my projects online I would be the laughing stock of whatever website you are talking about.. You haven't arrived until you have hate mail:) that's what I tell myself… I'm sure the poster is glad to have a friend like you

  34. Alecia says

    I've thought for a while about this. It sucks, its mean, its petty and it reeks of high school drama. And I call bullshit on it the whole “it's not personal” if it wasn't personal why were specific people mentioned? I'll tell you right now my fiance doesn't 'get' a lot things that bloggers (my self included) do, but he would NEVER call someone out on it, on my blog, his blog (he doesn't have one btw) or in the local paper.

    Craft-blogging is a small world, I wouldn't be surprised to see this blow up and really hurt Mandy's blog. I can honestly say I'll never link up there again and I'm taking her button off my site.. If this whole thing was really done just to throw traffic her way… it really makes me lose faith in this little world we've created.

  35. Andy David says

    Dear Adrianne,
    You've done your friends proud by standing up for them. They are very fortunate to have you on their side. People can be so insensitive at times. I come across many blogs during my daily visits and not everything appeals to me, but I always leave a respectful comment and some kind of joke to make him/her laugh..that's just me…I am always smiling. We are all talented in our fields and people need to respect that.

    I really stopped by to thank you for following my blog. If you look closely, you'll see me smiling back at you from GFC! LOL
    Hope you have a wonderful weekend. Come back and visit soon!

    Thoughts Of Beauty In The Stillness Of Dawn…

  36. Jennifer Jury says

    All of you got your husbands' permission before writing your posts, right? Everyone needs just to chill out and take a breath. No one was called out on their crafting, more it was him calling himself out for not getting it. And he has a right to his own opinion and his wife doesn't have to give him permission to have it. FYI.. I didn't run this by my husband, either.

  37. Jane says

    I like to blog by the montra, if I have nothing nice to say, don't blog about it. Because, people's feelings do get hurt and there is no reason for that. I thought the projects were nice.

  38. Maureen Hayes says

    Adrienne,

    You were one of the first craft blogs I found and started following and I know the reason why, because you are a person of integrity and heart. Yes, you make beautiful things and post really easy to follow tutorials, but at the core it, you are a good person! Thank you for making me aware that this had happened. I have tried to go to all the blogs affected (the last one won't allow me on!) and lend my support. I am a fairly new crafter and have also been trying my hand at some art, like art journaling. If something I have posted had been ridiculed, I would have been devastated. Whatever happened to “if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all”? I am tired of people hiding behind humor to bully others. If you really are talented you don't need to make fun of others to get traffic to your site, people will come because you are a good writer, post good content, etc. . .

    I will proudly grab your badge and put it on my blog as well. Thanks for always being brave and doing what is right! I am proud to call you a friend (even though we haven't met IRL) and to follow your blog. I don't know Karen, but I truly hope she will reconsider taking her blog down. I understand that she is hurt, but I hope she will feel the love and support she has here and know that she shouldn't let this one person take away something she had loved and enjoyed until now!

    Maureen

  39. Jill D says

    I am happy to see that Mandy has posted an apology to her followers and stated she was not involved in her husbands post. She also states that here husband is no longer allowed to tap into her link parties. The invite to her link party states “It's fun to support and encourage fellow craftiness.” There was nothing supportive or encourgaing about his post. Hopefully he will follow with any appology and we can put an end to this mess. It is never wrong to stand up for your friends. Thank you Adrianne for standing up for yours.

  40. Pam says

    He mentioned specific bloggers and their posts… that's personal. I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt or offend, but the fact is, he did. It's one thing to say something to your partner in the privacy of your home. It's quite another to write the same thing in a public place. Humour is a personal thing. What one person finds funny, someone else won't. A husband and wife usually get each other's sense of humour. To say you don't understand crafting in general and do a humerous post is OK. To single out specific posts is NOT OK.

    Well done, Adrianne, for speaking out!!!

  41. Evelyn MyTurnForUs says

    Thank you so much Adrianne for speaking out and supporting others. I have not seen the post and don't wish to. One of the reasons I love this blogsphere is everyone is kind and supportive and gives each other an A for effect. I will go the each of the “victims” sites to support them. I also will grab your button and post in on my blog for whatever support I can give!
    You are awesome!

  42. Lindsay says

    THANK YOU, thank you for posting this!!

    Bloggers need to support each other, not tear each other down. If you want to make a blog about the “husband's view” of crafting, I'm all for it!! But pick on your own wife and HER crafting, not unsuspecting bloggers who are proud of their work. Just because you have a “big blog” doesn't mean it makes you (or your husband) any better than other bloggers.

    Anyway, thanks for the great post, Adrianne!!

  43. Carri says

    I didn't see the offending post/s.. I really don't need to, Great Adrianne and I grabbed a button…

    Thanks

    Carri

  44. Karen Cook says

    Remember what “Thumper's” mom said it Bambi? If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all.

    By the way – all you girls rock! Keep at up the good work.

    Karen

  45. Natalie says

    Sometimes I wish blogs came with a “like” button – thanks for this post Adrianne – you're awesome and so supportive. We are all here to help each other and build each other up. My husband who largely supports my crazy ideas, sometimes raises an eyebrow at my creations but would never dream of dampening my creative spirit and those of our kids.I'll have to think about linking up to that party in future :-(

  46. Kelsey says

    You are wonderful Adrianne!! All of these ladies are awesome and this post was much needed!

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