Why I Suck at Cooking

I realize that’s not a very positive title for this post.  And in reality, I managed all right.  But I didn’t make what I intended to, so that’s not really so great on the following-directions front.  That’s where I suck.

Anyway, on to the adventure.  Last night, I attempted some cheesy biscuits that are supposed to be just like Cheddar Bay Biscuits:

Before I even get started, about the part in the kitchen, I want to thank Terry at These Peas Taste Funny for her photography tips on food.  Let me show you this photo I was almost happy with, until I remembered that she suggested to get right up close, like you’re going to take a bite:

Terry, I’m learning!!  (Too bad it’s just with the camera, and not with the food for this post – oh well, baby steps!)

But back to why I have simultaneously succeeded, and also failed.  Stella B’s Kitchen shared these beauties a couple weeks ago.  They look phenomenal, right?

You can visit Stella B for the recipe.  These are what she made.

Mine are…. not quite like Cheddar Bay biscuits.  And I will tell you why.

First of all, I knew I didn’t have buttermilk, which is a staple for good biscuits.  But I did have some heavy cream left, and with the weather getting nasty out where I live and a perfectly content baby in her high chair, I decided it wouldn’t hurt to substitute one ingredient, especially when you’re talking about high-fat-content milk.  I really didn’t want to go through all the work of bundling the both of us up for just buttermilk.

So I preheat my oven, toss in my dry ingredients, and realize – I do not have garlic in my spice cupboard, either.  How can this be?  Who doesn’t have garlic around?  But it’s too late now, I’m committed – so I substituted a garlic and herb mix I did have.  I have no idea what is actually in this mix; the ingredients list reads: Garlic, Onion, Spices.  Yes, just spices.  It’s a mystery!  (A yummy one, though – I have to say, I really do love that mix.)

I did pretty well with the rest of the recipe… though I did have to look up how much one stick of butter is.  We use spreadable butter at home, the kind with canola oil added, but it’s in a tub.  At least it wasn’t margarine.  Then I get to the very last step, to stir in your shredded cheddar cheese.  I go to the refrigerator – to find that the only cheese we have is colby cheese slices.  We were apparently out of shredded cheese.  Right.  So now I’m making Cheddar Bay Biscuits with NO cheddar, and an unknown combination of spices.  And no buttermilk.

So I do my best to quickly chop up four cheese slices into shred-sized pieces, because darn it – I’m not giving up now!  I stir them in, bake them up, and pull some admittedly delicious drop biscuits out of the oven.  But, they definitely aren’t what Red Lobster serves, but I can’t fault the recipe after taking so many liberties.

So I suck at cooking, because I never take the time to prep that I am supposed to.  Yeah, this sort of thing happens to me often!  I may be a planner in every other arena of my life, but I wing it when I get in the kitchen. :P Moral of the story: inventory what you have and what you need before you start cooking.

But may I just say, these are still really good, even if I meant to make something else. :)

See you tonight for Freestyle Friday!

I link up to these great parties!
~ Adrianne


  1. says

    Thanks for keeping it real! Most of my yummiest creations are accidents. And those biscuits sound like they did turn out delicious!!! The tip above is exactly how I 'make' buttermilk and it works perfectly for pancakes and biscuits. As my kids have gotten a little older and become the little gourmets that an almost-7 and 10 year old are, I've also learned to keep a few sticks of butter in the fridge and plenty of onion and garlic ready to chop. They love all the flavor!

  2. says

    oh you poor thing, I do the butter milk sub too, the regular milk with vinegar. But at least you tried, and I like that you still posted, we all have those things we are not thrilled with, but it's still great to learn from.

  3. MrsFoxsSweets says

    I was thinking cooking just sucks! I dont like to cook anything. I rarely buy buttermilk, but use it maybe once or twice a month. I substitute 1/2 cup milk + 1 tsp white vinegar and let sit for 5 minutes when I need buttermilk. You can also substitute lemon juice in for the vinegar. Your biscuits look great though, they didnt go flat or anything and look just as good as the other photo!

  4. Terry says

    LOL – you're hilarious. Thanks for the shout-out – glad it did some good. As far as the rest,….that's why I actually like to cook. Don't have broccoli, use zucchini. Don't have garlic powder, use garlic. Don't have goat cheese, use blue cheese. Don't have,….you get the picture. I just don't tell people what it was supposed to be and nobody knows the difference. Plus, a big glass of wine will fix most of your cooking issues (or martini, I know you're fancy). :)

  5. Cameron Meerdink says

    Hilarious – this is so how I cook. BTW – you can make buttermilk by adding vinegar to regular milk – I googled that one day :) I think they look pretty darn good!

  6. says

    Thanks for sharing this , it came in while we were eating dinner and I had made these also. I tend to do the same type of substituting that you do with similar results. I followed a different recipe to the tee tonight with poor results and was felling bad about it. You just reminded me that I am not alone in my cooking abilities ! But at least we are trying!

  7. Alecia says

    Wow. Are you sure you weren't in my kitchen!? (couldn't be I have buttermilk, from making butter!)

    This had me laughing because this is how my cooking adventures usually end up. Also why I eat a lot of salad….

  8. Kitty says

    At least your biscuits turn out alright, the last time I made some they could be used for paper weights!

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