Being a mom is in interesting job. There isn’t a lot you can do to train for it… you just have to rush headlong into it and embrace the good, the bad, and the ugly. I know every mom out there is with me when I say this: you can’t imagine your life without them, but things are definitely different! You never anticipate how much Nickelodeon will be on your TV, how high the acceptable number of people in the bathroom at the same time will become, or how difficult it is to put pants on a child who insists they’re the wrong color (“I want purple!”) because kids have two legs that can go more directions than what seems humanly possible and it would just be easier to buy all purple pants from now on, or at least until their favorite color is suddenly green.
Another thing that changes after you become a mom, you lose track of you original point and go off on tangents about purple pants. I miss properly finished sentences.
You moms already know all this. And fortunately, we can laugh. And there is even a great site to visit at nickmom.com to laugh about how things have changed! Like how it takes a year just to get TO the store…
(via NickMom – you’ve got to read the whole thing!)
Sad but true, right? Their site is filled with a lot of great mom-isms – because we all need a good #MotherFunny laugh sometimes. Motherhood IS funny! The things you NEVER think you’d have to say, ask, and explain…
Don’t put that in the toilet!
But I needed to wash it!
Where is my lip gloss? Did you play with it?
No, I ate it.
Why is your brother covered in glitter?
I put magic on him! I’m making him disappear!
What is that, mama?
It’s a pad, honey. (Because you KNOW moms don’t get to go to the bathroom alone!)
It’s your diaper?
And in our house, dad gets in on the funnies too…
Raya, you’ve got issues.
No, I just have socks on.
And the ever ill-timed knock on the bedroom door:
What are you doing? I want some milk! Can I sleep with you? Let’s watch cartoons!
Used to be, we stayed up late on date nights. (No big deal when you can sleep in!) My husband is a bartender, so his late schedule meant we were still having fun at 2:00 am.
These days – it’s a different party at the table when we go out.
We still do a lot of the same things… it just looks a lot different. Like we still love Guitar Hero!
(Seriously, look how clean my living room used to be. Sigh….)
Game day looks a little different, too. We LOVED going to baseball and football games!
We still watch the game – but the tailgating is all at home in our jammies now.
I guess when I really think about it, we still enjoy a lot of the same things… just on a different schedule. Used to be, a rough day at the office called for a drink at happy hour.
These days, a rough day looks like this:
I love my kids, and I love that I can laugh about both the joys and the challenges. And on the challenging days, I can always steal a juice box to make up a fabulous apple martini. (What, you don’t do that?)
If today is a rough day for you, I’ll close with a little recipe for YOU once you give your littles their bottles and cups for the night…
- 2 oz. Vodka (try Stoli Gala Apple!)
- 1 oz. DeKuyper Red Apple Liqueur
- 3-4 oz. Apple Juice
- Apple slice to garnish
- Chill your glass and rim with sugar (optional).
- In a shaker tin, shake vodka, apple liqueur, and juice with ice.
- Strain into glass and garnish with an apple slice.
You can get a laugh at NickMom on Facebook or Tweet @NickMom with your #MotherFunny mom-isms!
So share… how was your life different before you had kids?